Oh, that I could find a cure and sleep!

Well hello all, and by all I mostly mean me...how are you?

Well I am good. Good and NOT TIRED even though it is 2:30 in the dang morning.

" The reason?" I hear you ask yourself, and by yourself, yes, I do still mean myself.

Well, let me tell you. At the moment I am slightly hungry, but that is not the real reason. The reason began about a week ago. See, I used to be employed by the best coffee & tea shop in all the americas, if not the world, until one day I used a clock with a gimp minute hand to determine the correct time of departure for me to arrive on time to my beloved place of employment. I was too in love with the idea of playing my guitar for one more half hour to even let the thought cross my mind that the clock was bending my perception of reality. I went on my merry way, played my guitar and at what I assumed was the correct time, hop into my car and scooted off towards work with a happy-go-lucky attitued that lasted all of ten minutes.

My assistant manager rang on the cell I hadn't looked at unfortunately all morning, and she informed me that it was ten minutes past my schedualed arrival time. I said no, looked at the clock in my car, and indeed, it was true. I drove extra wrecklessly the rest of the way to work knowing full well it wouldn't make a lick of difference concidering I was already on double probation once for working there less then five hundred hours, and once for a prior gross tardy. I got to work and practically siezured in a concious state for the next hour until my mind cooled down and there were no signs that I was in big poo. My manager was curtious and my co-workers assured me that they couldn't fire me for various reasons that at the time seemed valid, but apperently are scum.

Break time arrived, and as I went back to cool down and gather my thoughts someone follwed me with a suspicious look. My asst. manager sat down and looked me in the eyes and immediately the fear of the strict Peet's Empire gripped my heart once again. She explained how she had talked to my manager and the district manager and that company policy was that I must be suspended until further notice, at which point I would be informed of further highly restrictive probation or dun dun dun...TERMINATION. She went on to explain that I could not clock back on after my break. I started leaking from the eyes and my chin began to quiver. That is probably one of the only shocks in my life that took no time at all to hit me. As soon as the words dropped off her tongue I felt the wieght of my future. I wept for a while, the made the walk of shame through the front door out into the real world. I recieved a great big welcome present *sock*, right when I least expected it. I drove home and pretty much wept bitterly for the next day, until I had a dream that they didn't terminate me. In these days of uncertanty I didn't know whether to look for a job or sit back and relax. At that point I chose to relax, thinking that I would learn extended amounts of humility and responsibility having to walk back in to a building full of *perfect* people who don't do wrong, where I obviously was a lower lifeform. I was satisfied with that prospect until tuesday night when my asst. manager gave me another ring. Decent tone of voice she had, didn't indicate one way or the other what she was about to inform me of. Then the words flowed, "I'm sorry but based on the decision of HR, we are forced to terminate you due to the two gross tardys which demonstrate to Peet's that you are a 'high risk individual' and as a professional company we cannot risk any further complications with you.".

So that night Jamee(my friend who just so happened to get fired the same day as me) and I mourned together and proposed ideas of what to do next until morning arrived upon us, at which point we slept. Since that point last "tuesday night" I have been an insomniac. I simply cannot make myself fall asleep, then somehow sleep until the early afternoon and justify it with the fact that I have nothing to do. I can successfully pay all my bills for one month and five days without a paycheck, whick thoretically gives me about two weeks to start a new job, and I am an extremely talented procrastinator. I would give anything to be going to school this term so I at least had something to do, unfortunately I was too indecisive to determine that before fall term started.

Perhaps I killed enough time creating/writing the blog to fall asleep now. Oh, if you think of it at any point, you could pray that I get a job where the favor of the Lord rests on me and perhaps that I would learn something useful in my walk with Him through this whole ordeal andstop being such a dang mopey pansy. And yes, by you, I probably do still mean just me.

Congradulations, you read it! I promise this will not be the longest blog I write so prepare yourself, you may be jumping into something deep...I still mean me.