Aneurysms and what Started Out as Dr. Seuss...

So I got two and a half hours of sleep last night. And I didn't shower today for the first time in like 4 months. Aren't you proud (I feel disgusting)? I saw the sunrise out my *picture* window...beautiful color the sky was...and then went to bed. Oddly enough, I wasn't tired most of the day today. I successfully drove small children to practices and games and gas stations without killing a-one. I suppose that's really horrible of me to make light of it. I am an irresponsible person and I have no idea why they continue to let me nurture their children. I suppose you don't have to be responsible to nurture though...so maybe it's not that odd. Child “B” had some fits today, they were quite hideous. They were messing around for like a half an hour and then I said "we are leaving in ten minutes" and child “B” asked, "are we coming back before my game?", which was conveniently 1 hour later than when we needed to drop child "A" off for his practice. I said "no", considering it takes us 20 minutes to get to each of the places we needed to go, aaaaaannd...he had a meltdown (he has recently become comfortable manifesting while I am in charge...he used to save it for his parents, but last week he resolved that I was worthy of his pandemonium and everlasting fire). Apparently it is immoral to put your soccer cleats on in the car, or at least it is utterly impossible.

*eww I deleted it*

It was a lot less charming and artsy than that thuur poem though. In times like those his whole head turns red, and he sabotages everything he possibly can. He screamed bloody murder till we got in the car, and then he blamed his brother for every little thing that ever went "wrong" in his life. And then I witnessed something I haven't ever before. They started hitting each other. Cat fight between the boys in the back seat. They don't even know how to fight...since they never do. I raised my voice. It didn't work. Then finally they stopped most of the rivalry, and I left well enough alone until child "A" safely exited the vehicle and we vacated the premises. Everything was dandy for a time. At child "B"'s game, I met another small child. A little girl. She was enthralled with me. She was about 3, her name was Miranda, and her favorite colors were "pink, bwuw, puwpwe, aaaand pink." We played roll (where we sit with our feet together and put all the soccer balls we can find in between and role them around eternally and will for absolutely no reason allow anyone who owns one of those balls to so much as look at it without severe disciplinary action) and we played restaurant, and crab fight...because all they had at the restaurant was crab, and they weren't boiled yet, and they liked to eat human hair. Mostly mine. And we played "don't cwap when aww da aduwts cwap becawse we awe to bizzy to pay attentun to da sawwcuh game" She was a little on the obsessed with world domination side, but cute none the less. She attached to my leg when I was about to leave, and wants a play date...or at least wants me to be her babysitter when I am not nic's babysitter, because she doesn't like "boys cawwd nic".

When we got home, child "B" had another melt down because of a computer game. I explained what an aneurysm is, and how it just isn't healthy to deal with his anger in such destructive ways. We discussed healthy alternatives, and he mellowed out a bit. The rest of the day was spent as their own personal theatric musical. Song and dance are never absent in our house.

Last night I lost four hundred and twenty brain cells. It was a sad, sad death, but I must move on. There were adverse affects on other areas of my body though. I don't know what I did to my left shoulder, but the closest assessment I can come up with is that I dislocated it some small degree. It hurt like a mom. I normally have right shoulder problems, but this was with the left, and it was poopy. It popped today though, and feels a bit better, but still not top-notch.

This is probably either the most boring post you've ever read or the most frighteningly freebased sounding post I have written...anyway, I am zonking out...sooo...that's my cue to go.

movies and books and games

So yesterday it hailed the size of nickel's--only sphere like--of course. That was interesting. It was probably the most eventful thing that happened in like 2 or 3 days. Actually that's not true. I watched American History X for the first time the other day. I am undecided as to how I feel about it. It is an intense movie, but I think some of the acting was a little lame, and I found there to be a lack of sufficient plot/background for certain events that occurred. Mostly the end. Daniel never touched the guy as far as I knew, so I don't get why he shot him. In school none the less. It's not like the black kid could get away and enjoy his life without Daniel or anything, he had to go to jail cause how the crap would you kill a kid in a school bathroom with one way out and not get caught immediately? Anyway, I don't know how to describe how I feel about it other than it was intense and sadly true in certain areas and I guess I liked it.

I am reading Brave New World atm (rahal I hope you're proud) and it is interesting as well. I'm only in chapter 4, and I'm sad to admit (but I'll do it anyway just to spite my pride) that there have already been like 20 words that I have no clue what they mean. I started a list, and I'ma look them up so I can get smart somehow ;) That guy cracks me up. I also just finished Captivating. I think that is the first book I have read all the way through since like 10th grade...how sad is that. I just get bored towards the middle of books, I don't know why. I think I have ADHD. I think I just never noticed it before cause I was around all you Portland crazies =P Hopefully I can read BNW all the way through too, cause I am getting tired of this getting dumber crap. Then I need to read like Fahrenheit 451 or East of Eden or something that everyone should have read by my age already. Maybe it's not to late to grow a brain. Maybe I won't need kid sized sunglasses anymore.

Ok, so toooooodaaaaay...guess what I get to do??? I am going to the "16th st. Mall" downtown, which isn't really a mall for those of you in Portland who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's just a street...with free buses and restaurants and crap. Anyway, you wanna know why I'ma go there? Cause I'm going to play capture the flag for like 2 hours with 400 people!!!!!! YEAH!!! That will probably be the most fun thing I have done here thus far. Hopefully we don't get rained all upons, but even if we do it will just remind me more of home. Well, that doesn't start for like two and a half hours, but I'm gonna leave now anyway cause I need to buy shampoo before I start to stink. Cheer me ON!

heh, woops.

Oh man. I crack myself up. So now I just got done reading aaaaaall of my blogs at 2:30 in the morn-hing...and I am still bright tailed and bushy eyed cause last night I was up listening to political ramblings till about this same hour at the "Xavier house". There should be one of those in Portland. I shuppose the closest thing would be the Mullet's, save that house is all upons the girls, and this one is all upons the guys. There is a mysterious character who lives in the basement though. I am told it is a "he," but his name is Dee (which seems unprecedentedly suspiciously feminine to me) and I have yet to have a run-in with this illusive fellow.

Yeah, so anyway, there really were two points to this blog. Numero Uno was that uh...yeah...if you haven't read my blogs, or it's just been a while, it would without a doubt heighten your spirits to a soaring altitude and let you in on the death-defying dullness that is my life. If you are looking for a laugh, I guarantee at least one and three quarters, but if I said any more, I might be overestimating because there is an overwhelming chance that the only reason I find them funny is because I wrote them. I would, however, greatly appreciate it if you arvadians and denverites and littletonians and whonots and blue fish and red fish and anyone else cat in the hat like would read just sos you can get some background on the newly transplanted moi. If you don't care to know anything about me, then feel free to skip the blogs ;)

Numero Dos (or however you spell it) is that...uh...yeah...I was wrong. Frighteningly wrong. Disturbingly wrong. Violently wrong almost. It disturbs me. It makes me feel like I never observed the city I dwelt in for my whole life, save the last 4 months. My dog is snoring vigorously. But that is a side thought. The point is, the Denver metroplex is actually only 300,000 people larger than Portland metro area. I was informed earlier tonight that Portland is roughly two million people, and Denver is roughly two million three hundred thousand people. This information baffled me. I had no idea. I could have sworn that Denver was at least twice the size of Portland. I obviously have very poor perception of things, and for that I am truly sorry. Merry May Day two days ago to all, and to all a good night.

3 Monthers and a day

Wow. So I just read all the old blogs I wrote since I moved here. I was such a wreck when I got here. Man am I glad those days were over. I guess it is time for me to start writing not only to y'all back in da p-town, but all of you here at "home" too. I have mixed feelings about a mistake I made the other day. I was talking to some people (very late at night might I add) and I was saying something about how Denver differs from home, and when I went to reference Portland I said "back home in Denver" and I almost shocked my bum off the couch. I think it's good cause at least I am not the squished oddball wincey banana mite I was when I first got here, but at the same time it's such an odd numbing feeling almost...I feel like I am numb to Portland or something...like it's just another city that maybe I have visited but not really anyplace special. That makes me want to vomit because I HIGHLY do NOT want to feel that way. I miss all my babe's back in p-town, but if I was to come back right now I would feel weird. I don't feel completely at home here yet, but I know I wouldn't feel quite right there either. I am trying to be ok, and I think it will get oodles better once I move and get a new job at the end of the summer.

Some of you may have heard that I am planning to go to school here. Well, that was the plan to some extent, but plans change. I do want to go to school, don't get me wrong, but I also don't want to pay six grand for one term of community college. I hopefully can start in winter term of this year, because I am thinking I'll be eligible for instate then. If not, it will have to wait till 2008. For those of you who don't know, I am no longer pursuing the pointless interior Design/Decorating degree, but I hope to go to Community College of Denver for a Human Services Degree. It's just an associates, but it should only take me 3 more terms, and it's better than nothing. Hopefully after that I can do some form of social work, but not like most of the ineffective crap that is run by the state.

The plan for now is to get a place at the end of summer with some other girls from the church, either in Denver or in Arvada (a little west of Denver where the church is for those of you who don't know) and the sweetest amazement of all amazements for a job. There is currently one Peet's huur, and hey check it: I was looking at craigslist yesterday, and they are opening another one!!! Really close to the church too, like maybe 4 or 5 miles away. So that is definitely an option...it would be like reuniting with my mum after a fight that caused us not to talk for like a month afterwards or something. Oh the sweet nectar of love. Anyway, the other option is (please don't get all skunk-like and think I am a superficial freak...unless you already thought that...but this should have no bearing on your opinion) working at a M.A.C. counter. I don't really know why, but I have always wanted to work there. I don't exactly have reasons, other than I like M.A.C. cause that’s what my mum wears and that's mostly what I wear if I can afford it, and I like the people who worked at the Washington square Nordstrom’s one. I don't know why, I mean, you think that being from the west side they would be jerks, but they were all very genuine and sweet...and pretty. Even the guys. I don't know...I really have a heart for the gay community, and so I really want to work with some gay people. I miss my Cory. =( Anyway, those all sound like way bizarre reasons but hey...so I'm not good at explaining myself sometimes...I just know I would like to work there, and perhaps avoid the food & drink scene for a while. Oh, and the small child scene too. They aren't actually moving closer to town this summer either, so that being as large of a factor as it is to me; I decided that there is prettymuch no reason or incentive for me to stay with them past the end of summer.

Don't get me wrong, I do like my job...to some degree. I am very grateful for it, and for the benefits I have, but I absolutely ABHORE the drive to get to anywhere I desire to be, and to be honest it feels like I am still living with my parents sometimes. They don't give me rules or anything, but I still feel like I must behave in a certain "daughter-like" manner, which I am quite tired of to say the least. Also, living here, it seems like even when I am "off" I should still be doing stuff. Like even if my aunt is home I feel like I should be the one plunging the toilet that her child clogged, and that I should be vacuuming or doing something productive while she watches. That's kind of ridiculous, I know, because I am a nanny, not a maid, but crimony, it's hard for me to lounge around when my "boss" is standing right there...and especially when she is doing something. Like, if she is cleaning, I feel like crap because "I probably should have done that before so she didn't have to do it now". It's crap. At the same time, I can't complain cause I get free rent, a free car, and I get to come back home a lot more than I would at any other job.

The next time I am coming home actually is like june 3rd or 4th through june 13th I think. Something like that. My aunt is off like the 1st through the 13th, so I can come home as long as I want. I mostly want to be there for rahal's graduation :) and mooberry and pete and annie and omar and all the sweets I know from OC's grad too. I am currently thinking that they are the 6th for Clackamas, and the 12th for OC, so ah, one of y'all tell me if you have any differing observations. And SOMEONE FROM OC BETTER BE GIVING ME A FREAKING TICKET. Or you will die. I can't not see my brothers graduate. If it comes to it, just copy some more. My sister copied hers on regular printer paper, and they let all her peeps in...

After that I should arrive in da p-town like oh...somewhere around my birthday if I can bat my eyelashes enough at my aunty to allow it to happen. That's like the end of July for those of you who don't know. Now, Mullets, I know you are planning your beach trip sometime...and I would like to ask, if at all possible, that you would schedule it during a time which I might be able to attend. There would be nothing I would love more than to spend a week or however long with all my loves at the flippin BEACH since we don't HAVE one. I miss water. And slight amounts of humidity. And rain. Especially on the roof at night, and running down the gutters. It's too quiet here.

After that, I will be quitting my job at the end of August, so I will fly back probably on the 1st of sept. I will then reinstate my insurance on my car that I didn't sell, and after my mum's, and possibly my pop's birthday(s) I will be taking me a road trip back to da Denver "metroplex". I prefer not to have to make this trek alone, so if you wanna come, lemme know. It will start somewhere around the 5th most likely, but may start as late as the 12th. Lemme know what works for you so I can plan around some other peeps. I'm going to want to take my stuff too, so if anyone has a truck or something that you wouldn't mind using as my entourage for 2 days to a week, also let me know ;) Thanks. I'ma stop this now cause it’s 12:45 in the am.