Aneurysms and what Started Out as Dr. Seuss...

So I got two and a half hours of sleep last night. And I didn't shower today for the first time in like 4 months. Aren't you proud (I feel disgusting)? I saw the sunrise out my *picture* window...beautiful color the sky was...and then went to bed. Oddly enough, I wasn't tired most of the day today. I successfully drove small children to practices and games and gas stations without killing a-one. I suppose that's really horrible of me to make light of it. I am an irresponsible person and I have no idea why they continue to let me nurture their children. I suppose you don't have to be responsible to nurture though...so maybe it's not that odd. Child “B” had some fits today, they were quite hideous. They were messing around for like a half an hour and then I said "we are leaving in ten minutes" and child “B” asked, "are we coming back before my game?", which was conveniently 1 hour later than when we needed to drop child "A" off for his practice. I said "no", considering it takes us 20 minutes to get to each of the places we needed to go, aaaaaannd...he had a meltdown (he has recently become comfortable manifesting while I am in charge...he used to save it for his parents, but last week he resolved that I was worthy of his pandemonium and everlasting fire). Apparently it is immoral to put your soccer cleats on in the car, or at least it is utterly impossible.

*eww I deleted it*

It was a lot less charming and artsy than that thuur poem though. In times like those his whole head turns red, and he sabotages everything he possibly can. He screamed bloody murder till we got in the car, and then he blamed his brother for every little thing that ever went "wrong" in his life. And then I witnessed something I haven't ever before. They started hitting each other. Cat fight between the boys in the back seat. They don't even know how to fight...since they never do. I raised my voice. It didn't work. Then finally they stopped most of the rivalry, and I left well enough alone until child "A" safely exited the vehicle and we vacated the premises. Everything was dandy for a time. At child "B"'s game, I met another small child. A little girl. She was enthralled with me. She was about 3, her name was Miranda, and her favorite colors were "pink, bwuw, puwpwe, aaaand pink." We played roll (where we sit with our feet together and put all the soccer balls we can find in between and role them around eternally and will for absolutely no reason allow anyone who owns one of those balls to so much as look at it without severe disciplinary action) and we played restaurant, and crab fight...because all they had at the restaurant was crab, and they weren't boiled yet, and they liked to eat human hair. Mostly mine. And we played "don't cwap when aww da aduwts cwap becawse we awe to bizzy to pay attentun to da sawwcuh game" She was a little on the obsessed with world domination side, but cute none the less. She attached to my leg when I was about to leave, and wants a play date...or at least wants me to be her babysitter when I am not nic's babysitter, because she doesn't like "boys cawwd nic".

When we got home, child "B" had another melt down because of a computer game. I explained what an aneurysm is, and how it just isn't healthy to deal with his anger in such destructive ways. We discussed healthy alternatives, and he mellowed out a bit. The rest of the day was spent as their own personal theatric musical. Song and dance are never absent in our house.

Last night I lost four hundred and twenty brain cells. It was a sad, sad death, but I must move on. There were adverse affects on other areas of my body though. I don't know what I did to my left shoulder, but the closest assessment I can come up with is that I dislocated it some small degree. It hurt like a mom. I normally have right shoulder problems, but this was with the left, and it was poopy. It popped today though, and feels a bit better, but still not top-notch.

This is probably either the most boring post you've ever read or the most frighteningly freebased sounding post I have written...anyway, I am zonking out...sooo...that's my cue to go.